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I Dated My Friend’s Ex. Will He Keep Hating Me Forever?
You never think anything could breakup you and your best friend, but you could be wrong. Everyone has unspoken rules or guidelines around what is and is not okay to do in their friendship, otherwise known as bro or girl code. These guidelines might be as harmless as not giving unsolicited advice to more serious deal breakers like not abandoning your intoxicated friend at a party.
One particularly difficult question to answer, especially if everyone shares the same group of friends, is whether it’s okay to date a friend’s ex-boyfriend or ex-.
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Can I date my friend’s ex?
Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times.
What do you do if you want to date your friend’s ex? Posted Jun 30 My friend broke up with her boyfriend of six months about a month ago.
Whether or not you believe your situation is an exception, you should always talk to your friend before making any crucial decisions. Unless you value your relationship with a guy more than your friendship, respect that your friend may not be thrilled you want to start dating her ex. On the other hand, it may matter to your friend or even yourself, so tread carefully if that’s the path you’re choosing to take.
Better yet, if she’s in another relationship and is seriously in love, it’s doubtful she’ll care too much if you want to date her ex. If this is the case, and your friend is still concerned, it’s best to stay away from the ex. Her hesitation is for a good reason. If you and your friend don’t regularly talk face-to-face, your dating habits may not get in the way of this friendship. Of course, there are exceptions to every guideline, but a purely online friendship shouldn’t hold the same precedence as an in-person one.
If you’re looking for a hookup, your friend’s ex is not the right place to look. He may be six feet of pure eye candy, but diving into the messy relationship of a casual hookup isn’t a good idea for you, him, or your friend. Going after a friend’s ex could very easily complicate your friendship. If your relationship with this friend really matters to you, it’s best to stay away from exes altogether.
If you feel like your friend might be OK with it, have a talk. Respect her answer and value her feelings, even if they’re not exactly what you want to hear.
When Is It OK To Date My Friend’s Ex?
There are a lot of opinions in society, but it is impossible to come to a single one. Many of us asked this question. They say that relationships with ex-girlfriends of friends are taboo and breaking it means betraying your friendship. Of course, there is rationality in this: when he dated her, he told you about all the quarrels and problems, you were his shoulder to cry on, you were listening to long stories about how painful it was after their breakup and what emotional connection they had.
Anyone can say, ‘I don’t care if you date my ex,’ but you need to listen for sincerity. Indifference is the opposite of love.” A good way to gauge this.
Sometimes it seems like the universe just likes to laugh at your life. That’s certainly the case when you find yourself attracted to your ex’s friend! Depending on the situation, it might either be a funny coincidence or something that could tear apart a friend group. Here are a few rules to keep in mind when trying to figure out whether it makes sense to start something up with your ex boyfriend’s bro.
Think about your past relationship as objectively as possible. How serious were you guys? How long has it been since you broke up?
My Ex is Dating My Friend! How to Handle it and How to Keep From Going Insane
But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place — maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock.
If you’re gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend’s ex at some point. In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend. Don’t try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because.
As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister? Would you be devastated if she never spoke to you again? Is your friend happy in her new relationship and has long moved on? If this ex was someone that was a fling, a relatively short-term relationship and not the former love of her life, we would say proceed and see where things go Can you imagine if one of them is thinking in the back of their mind that they would be open to trying again if their current circumstances were different, i.
A good question to ask is how did the relationship end and would either of them ever be open to trying again? A tough question but you really need to know the answer. The reason is, she is going to accuse you or feel as if you had another agenda the entire time.
Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?
Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present.
The sheer concept of seeing one of my mates with an ex is something that’d affect me for a number of reasons. Firstly, you break up with someone.
Please leave empty:. She took it fine and didn’t care too much. She was surprised but got over it. She freaked out and vowed to never speak to him again. A few days. A few weeks. A few months. For as long as I can remember.
5 Rules for Dating Your Ex’s Friend (Also, Can You Even Do That?)
A young lady sent me a message last week asking for advice. She was angry that her friend recently started dating her ex boyfriend. She felt betrayed that her friend would even give her ex who broke her heart time to make his intentions known. She wanted to know if she was wrong for showing her friend the door even when she has never given her any reason to doubt her loyalty. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they are just following the rules. Unfortunately, life is very unpredictable and your friend can end up falling in love with your ex.
36 votes, 12 comments. I (22f) met an old friend of mine (22f, we will call her Jenna) through my current boyfriend (we will call him Kyle, 23m) .
It does, after all, seem like a hard line to draw in the sand. On the flip side, it might also impact your relationship with your friend, depending on things like how they broke up , how long they dated, and whether or not they still harbor feelings for this person in question. If the breakup was recent, for example, your friend may have some lingering feelings. They may also feel awkward about situations in which the three of you might hang out after these new relationship lines are drawn. And in that case, your friend may not want you to have anything to do with the ex—to save you from future anguish.
Before knowing the best way to proceed, you need to get to the bottom of these feelings.
Is it OK to Date Your Friend’s Ex?
Despite all the shit we have to go through, the number one reason I love being a woman is the community we create for each other. Then, when they have some awful breakup , they come crawling back to me wondering why they prioritized an S. In my experience, relationships are fleeting. Friendships are so much more reliable.
Have you known him or her as your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Or is this someone you never met before and you have no experience.
Or, you may be smack dab in the middle of this dilemma and needing to hear this. Think about it: if you love your friend and he loved your friend, then that probably means you share some common values and interests. It probably means certain personality traits are important to both of you. You have many qualities your friend has. HE has many qualities your friend has. Hey, maybe you were even there the night they met. Let my friend have him. But stop right there. Okay, now how many of those are you still seeing?